who's the hottest guy in our class?

Friends ask how i'm feeling or how it's been with *enter name here* and every time i tell them that things aren't going well, he's not talking to me, that he must have finally realized how much of a dork i am and just stopped. Just stopped talking to me. I always say it like it's  a joke.. or i try at least. My friends always ask if i'm okay and i tell them... i tell them that i'm fine, that i understand why he did it and i can't change his mind. But the truth is.. i'm not okay. Every time this topic of conversation comes up i'm reminded that i'm not okay. i'm NOT okay. i don't know why i lie, why i don't tell them that on the inside my heart feels like it's cracking and that the cracks are getting bigger and bigger every time my thoughts drift to him. And I feel like a bad friend when i can't even tell them that late at night when i can't get to sleep i get an urge to text him because i know that he will be awake but unlike the old times.. i'm not confident that he will text back or that conversation will flow as freely. But, even though when i'm at school and they bring my thoughts back to this one guy that wont even talk to me which shatters my heart, i can't find the strength to tell them all these things i'm feeling in that one moment when they ask. And it never gets any simpler or easier every time they ask, in all honesty... it hurts more.. every time. But i don't want them to stop.. I just want them to really know how i'm feeling. I just want the strength to tell them that.

this was kinda depressing... i guess.

and i know it was the first post in a while,

sorry,

and i don't know when the next time i'll be posting is.

lots of love,

tinny.

I just can't think of anything to say.

That's me drinking my coke in a wine glass on a Tuesday night with my headphone in my ear and my glasses on. The second one is my horrible hair after I take it out of its ponytail. I look bloody terrible. *dies

TRIGGER THEORY SPLIT UP! kill me now. I love them so much and now they're gone... no more!

*sigh*

Who know how fast this years gonna go?

Hand me a glass let the butterbeer flow.

We're back to learn everything that we can.

It's great to come back to where we began.

And here we are and alakazam! here we go, this is totally awesome.

Back to witches and wizard, and magical beasts

To goblins and ghost and to magical feasts

It's all that I love and it's all that I need at

HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS.

    - Yeah, I go to Hogwarts. The StarKid version of Hogwarts. Got a problem with that?

I love people. Everyone. Because without people we wouldn't feel all these emotions. Love. Hate. Disgust. To be Amazed.

Lots of people like to know why we live. There's lots of theories on that. We live to serve God. We live to die. Everyone likes to live by their own theory. Well, I live by my own.

I think we live, to live. We don't live for God. We don't live to help people. We live to live. We live to make our own choices and to live with the consequences of our actions. No-one but ourselves can make a choice or really know how to make ourselves happy. We live to be happy, sad, angry, distressed, love. We live, for ourselves.

That is all. You may leave my blog now... (:

I'm not doing a random question. If you want me to do one give me a question and I'll write it in my next blog.

                       i'm really nice now.

blue ink, red nail polish and yellow silk.

I wrote two stories for my friend that had to be about gingers and cheese.

They both failed but at least she's happy with them. I now feel like writing a whole lot more because I love writing so much, I would seriously consider it a passion of mine.

I love putting down my ideas, my thoughts and just letting them all out. Sometimes they may not be very good and sometimes they could be great but it's MY idea so really, I'm the only one who can judge whether or not it's good.

I'm wearing black tights with a short black skirt and a green singlet over it, i have a yellow silk shirt over that. I have 9 bracelets on my left hand and 5 on my right. My nails have been painted red. My hair is tied up and my fringe held back with a thin sparkly pink headband. I am wearing no make-up. None at all.

Hold on, my boobies are falling out of my bra *pulls up bra and singlet*

I am listening to James Morrison's song Undiscovered. I was just on tumblr and then I decided to write a blog post. The song has just changed to Alison Lake's song Falling. There is $1.90 beside me. There's also a Crossword puzzle that my dad hasn't finished in front of me. oh, i forgot to mention, 3 of the bracelets on my left wrist are glow in the dark ones from Jay-Jays and 1 bracelet from my right has glow in the dark beads on it. The song has changed to Waiting on the world to Change by John Mayer.

I'm finally back in Christchurch. Came back yesterday on a bus. It was so long! But I would bus a gazillion times before ever feeling safe on a plane. *sigh*

Now playing - Gravity by John Mayer.

I want to watch Glee.

I have nothing to say.

OH.

Random Question
-If you could change something about yourself, what & why?
 *Nothing. I'm perfect the way I am and am loved for who I am. That is my short and simple answer.

the pub, a few drinks and jeez, is that guy cute?!

i haven't blogged in a few days! I'm sorry! I'm now at my mums house, we got here Tuesday. It hasn't been a lot of fun, really. My sister spazzed at me for using/eating her stuff. Her fault, if she doesn't want it to be used or eaten.. stick it in her room. It's okay though, she spazzez at me all the time when we're down. I think she doesn't like me. I dunno.

We went to the pub tonight... we've been here 3 nights and 2 of them were spent at the pub. how lame. I've been calling everything down here in Riverton lame. The weather; lame. The town; lame. The shops; lame. The boys; lame. The girls; lame. THEY DON'T SELL TIC TACS HERE! *tears* I've nearly cried so many times. I have no more tic tacs because they don't sell them. The horror. Upside, this town is little so I can walk right down to the bridge and i know I wont get raped on the way because i could scream and the whole town would make their way over to (hopefully) save me. Downside (again), it's freaking freezing all the time and I think i'm sick.

Here's a pro's and con's list of why being here is okay.

PRO'S
*they let me drink here.
*i can try and get that money my mum owes me.
*part-time job = money.
*my friends from Invercargill.
... i dunno what else.. 
oh, yeah.. i get to see my mum -_-

CON'S
*it's freezing all the time
*it's freezing all the time
*it's freezing all the time
*my mum never spends time with us, even though she's supposed to
*my mum is always at the pub
*my sister spazzez at me all the time
*there are no cute people here, ever, at all
*my mum named her boyfriend 'kill bill' on her cellphone, so everytime he texts and my mum asks me to grab her phone i always have to see that lame nickname.
*my sisters lame boyfriend thinks he's better than me. dude, i doubt it.
*i'm scared for my safety everytime i enter this house; the amount of scary old and weird people that come through here. :/
*there's nothing to do; unless you like walking in the wind and rain.
*we have a desktop computer so i can't get comfy and warm on a couch, i have to sit in a corner by the window (in the dark, at night, my mum wont leave the light on here, grr!) freezing my arse off.
*my fingers are going to fall off.
*i always get sick.
okay, the con's far out-weigh the pro's. damn.

*rubs hands together to get them warm*

it's 11:20pm
DAMN. i missed 11:11. *super tears!*

                                          i have a runny nose. 

Big aftershock, creepy Mark, Alex Gaskarth and Jack Barakat?

WOAH! pretty big aftershock! Will check geonet sometime to see how big it was.

I'm currently at my auntie and uncles, my eyes are fuzzy and i can't see very well, so I'm sorry if this is all spelt wrong (there's no automatic spellcheck on this computer.)
WOAH, another aftershock.
My dad just got out of hosp today, he had surgery on his heart or something early yesterday morning. He looks like he's still in alot of pain and he's walking around weirdly. I wish he'd just sit down and rest.
I'm watching my brother and little eight year old cousin (she's a girl..) play lego batman on the x-box. it's funny listening to them talking about it..  and watching all the lego characters. Evil lego plants.. that's not weird.

I was on msn a few nights ago when my friend told me about this creepy guy named Mark who was trying to chat her up, so we thought it would be a funny idea for me to add him and randomly just staaarted talking to  me. He asked me questions like "How old are you?" , "Do you have a boyfriend?" , "Do you want a boyfriend?" and questions like that. I never said anything to lead him on. I mainly said 'yes' or 'no' answers or corrected his spelling when he writes "pissing" instead or 'piercing', and he claims to be eighteen. Right. He lives in Queensland as well, and is just.. weird and stalkerish. He thinks we're going out and though I said no nearly a zillion times. I shall block him next time I'm on msn.

Do you know All Time Low? If you don't get out of that rock you're living under and search them up on You-Tube or something. They're amazing and I would orgasm just seeing Alex or Jack in person. Oh, do search Alex Gaskarth and Jack Barakat on google images next time you're there, warning though, you might fall in love. They are so cute and super adorable. They're all a insane and band freakish girl needs to live on.. well, that and the amazing music their whole band produces.

I feel like texting a certain someone. But, this person should just text me first instead of making me feel like I annoy (him) this person. *sigh* I feel so lonely right now..

Random Question
*What colour's your toothbrush? (thanks becka!)
 - a multitute of colours, :) and i don't know why i'm happy about this but i know a 'certain someone' who has/had the same toothbrush as me. Is that weird? Probably.

                     you make me orgasm in my mouth.

text messages, lovely pictures and a blue guitar.

I got a text not to long ago from my friend and it said 'I love you', do you know how much that means to me? She's a close friend of mine and I love having a suprise text with such a lovely message. I might go text some people with the same text. We all need a reminder that we love each other.

Lets fuck, till the suns comes up
Till the echo rumbling
It’s hard to remember,
I didn’t forget
Don’t stop till your feelin’ wet I have no shame, your no better
One more time we are together
How do you say goodbye,
How do you say goodbye,
When you’ve hardly said hello?
The only way we know x3
How do you say goodbye, when you’ve hardly said hello?
Lets fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Lets fuck till our lungs give out,
It wont be long It’s hard to remember, I didn’t forget
Let’s fuck until our hearts give up.
It won’t be long.
A night to remember, a day to forget.
If our lives were diamonds? we’d be rich.
Your voice makes my heart skip beats.
So, keep quiet before it quits on me.
Your voice makes my heart skip? beats.
So, keep quiet before it flat lines.

Before it flat lines. I’ve been terrible at night.
We can only wake up here in this bed.
Sunken into you; tangled in sheets.
Buried in blankets six foot deep, again. Kick it.
Lets fuck, till the suns comes up
Till the echo rumbling
It’s hard to remember,
I didn’t forget
Dont stop till your feelin’ wet I have no shame, your no better
One more time we are together
How do you say goodbye,
How do you say goodbye, when you’ve hardly said hello?
We’re young and in love
Heart attacks waiting to happen
So come on closer, tell me its all in our heads
We’re young and in love
Heart attacks waiting to happen
So come a little closer, tell me those three little words

just a song that i like that makes me smile. i know it's strange but, eh, that's the way i like them! (:

Random Question
*do you sleep with socks on? (thanks sam)
 -yes i do.. well, sometimes. on really cold days i do because i want every part of my body to be warm.
*why are gingers so awesome? (yeah, thanks hayley *eye rolls* )
 -because they're ginger. well, that's the answer hayley wants anyway. but, no. every ginger is different. so awesomeness changes. (:

                              shake that ass like you can.

new music, star watching and the holidays.

It's 8:08pm. I'm listening to The Back of My Head by Short Stack. My brother and my dad are watching Forbidden Kingdom while I write this. I'm on msn. The guy I like is online. Am I speaking to him? No. I am trying to find something to talk about. I'm now listening to Issues by Escape The Fate. I just received an e-mail from formspring. I'll be back to finish this. I just checked my tumblr. It's 8:22pm. I obviously wasn't there long. I'm talking to my best friend.. well, my best friend from australia. I'm drinking a tall glass of raspberry fizz. I have season 1, 2 and 3 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on dvd right beside me because I plan to watch it when I'm done writing this blog. I just stalked a girls tumblr because i don't like her and i needed to reassure myself that mine was better. Mine is better so I can rest easy. Don't judge me because I did something so petty, whoever's reading this would have done something like that as well.

I just updated my tumblr. It's 8:31pm. This is going quite quick.. I think I'm going to ask around for a random question and see who comes up with the best one. My friend and I reblogged the same picture at the same time.

I'm doing two random questions, like i promised. I think I just freaked out the guy I like, it's okay, Jessie is there to help me and send me virtual hugs...

Random Question
*Do you sing in the shower? (thanks sam)
 -Yes, well. Sometimes. Depends on how I'm feeling or if there's a song stuck in my head.
*Your house is burning down, what's the first thing you grab? (thanks jessie)
 -Cellphone but it would be right beside me, so it would be easy to grab. I would then grab my teddy bear bag that sits right beside the couch in my room and proceed to chuck my books in it. Then, I would grab the laptop wake everyone up as I walk by and run out of the house

                          suck my dick.

homework, spiders and a mother crocodile eating her kids.

I woke up two hours ago. It's 1:03pm, you do the maths. When I woke up my brother and dad were cleaning. I woke up at the wrong time, obviously. I do not like to clean, so, I should have slept for a little longer.

I have SST homework due next week on Friday, I'm going to try and do extra well. That's why after this post I will be cut off from the rest of the world for a while so I can work extra extra extra hard on my assignment. I'm going to fail, but at least I'll work hard at failing.

I was in the bathroom where my cream was and I opened the lid, got a swipe of cream AND THEN SAW A SPIDER HANGING FROM MY FINGER! It was tiny but it was hanging from my finger *shudder* I got rid of it but now I'm scared that there's a spider on my body.. that's why at the moment I am wiping my face, hitting my legs and moving around like an idiot. I am an arachnophobic if you hadn't realized. They all scare me, little ones, non- poisoned ones, poisoned ones, huge ones. Just all of them.

My dad was on this documentary channel before where they were talking about crocodiles. These baby crocodiles had just hatched and the mother came.. she swallowed them, whole. I was scared for those cute little baby crocodiles and I thought she was a terrible mother but then I found out that she's protecting them or something. She has this weird little sack thing in her mouth where she holds them and keeps them safe. I don't know what she does after that because my dad changed the channel. But then I thought, wouldn't that be weird if our mother's did that to us? I don't think I'd like being stuck in my mother's mouth.. just a thought.

No random question this time, can't be bothered getting one. Will do two next time.

                      don't go thinking of me and getting a boner. i might have to get rid of it for you.

Molly, my best friend and making a fool of myself.

WARNING! TONIGHT'S POST CONTAINS MOUNTAIN-LOADS OF EXTREME FLUFFINESS. SMALL CHILDREN AND PEOPLE WITH NO HEARTS MUST KEEP AWAY. CERTAIN WORDS MAY CAUSE A FLUTTER OF THE HEART.

;)

Now that the warning has been made i should tell you that this post is wholly dedicated to one of my best friends Molly.

I could spend ages and ages trying to explain how 'mazing Molly is, and how she's such a good friend but you still would never understand how great she is unless you know her.

Molly and I were probably facebook friends before we ever really spoke to each other. It wasn't until one of those Social Interview things that we became close. After that we would talk lots and we would meet up/hang out.

She's the sweetest person. She's so kind and extremely beautiful. I'm so lucky to have a friend who is as supportive and understanding as she is. She never judges me when I go into my weird state and talk about complete randomness. She never thinks any less of me because of the things that I do that seem odd to other people.

She has beautiful eyes and isn't very tall (but who cares? i don't and you shouldn't >< ) but she has the biggest heart. She has cute curly brunette hair and the nicest smile.

I wish I could post exactly how much she means to me and show you how jealous you should be that you don't have a friend like her but I can't seem to find the words and I think this blog is pretty much a disappointment but Molly, I love you and words cannot explain how much you mean to me.

We thought we were right but they knew we weren't. Such a shame we don't care.

I am blogging again. I've been a bit busy lately what with school starting again.

My friend told me today that we should document how we felt and what happened to us during the earthquake. I've already done that in my journal but I'll share it.

Like the idiot I can be sometimes I was still up when the earthquake started, I was reading. Don't judge me. Anyway, as I said. I was reading. When the earthquake started I thought that it would be a small little shake that I didn't need to worry about till later. I wouldn't have gotten up if it wasn't for my brother bursting into the hall screaming "EARTHQUAKE!" that was when I thought that it might be a bit bigger than I actually thought. I scrambled out of bed and fell over a couple of times when i tried to stand up. When I got to the door of my room the power went out and I couldn't see if my brother and dad were safely under the doorways. I did hear them though, so I knew they were there. The shakes didn't last too long after we had gotten up and then we went around looking for torches. We couldn't find any so I decided to use the candles that i had. Lit the candles and sat down in the lounge just waiting out for any aftershocks and checking facebook from our phones to see how everyone is and if they felt it as well.

We did all that and didn't realize till later that day when we woke up again how badly the earthquake could have been and how bad it was already. Knowing that I was that much closer to losing my friends did scare me but I knew they were fine and all i could do is hope they stay safe. On Monday I was ready to see friends and my dad was fine with me going out.

I wasn't scared for a while but then one night I just freaked out and got horrified whenever a shake happened.

Damn you websites for distracting me from my important blog. GREAT NEWS. I am going to be in 101 for Science next year! I can't wait, I want to do Chemistry in year 12. I want to be a writer, a musician, an archaeologist, and your mum. *sigh* This blog is failing pretty much a lot.

OH! For english we had an assignment to write about an important person in our life, my friend is writing about me. How sweet?! I read the draft today and I thought I might happy cry.

I'm suprised people actually read this crap that i write... mind you, i do tell them to.. but still. They listen.

Random Question
*What were you like as a kid?
 - In all honesty? I don't remember much of anything about myself as a person until maybe 13? And at that age i was like just about every other teen. I thought I knew everything. I was stubborn (still am, the joy) and just.. shy. I'm so shy! But, writing helps me, i guess.

                                              That's not what your mum said last night...

sad songs, dreaming of romance and never giving up.

I will always carry you in my heart

You'll always be my shooting star

Autumn days will fade away

But memories will always stay the same

I'm hoping you will never change

Don't ever change

I don't think I'll be blogging for a couple of days after this. It's okay, I think I've blogged enough to last a few more days. You know those cute stories our friends tell us (this is for girls, mainly) about their AMAZING partner? Yeah, i know them as well. When we have those friends who like their best friend (don't you just feel for them, i certainly do. it's horrible) but you know the reasons why they wont tell that certain person how they really feel. They're scared they'll lose that wonderful friend, that wonderful person who made them feel so... brilliant! We may not know it but we all have a friend like that. I know who my friend is and maybe i have more like that person and i feel for this person completely. There is nothing i wouldn't do for this person so that this person could have who this person wants but I'm happy in the knowledge that my friend is content for now to be just best friends.

When i was.. ten? i'm not sure, but there was this camp/get-a-way thing my dad had taken me and my little brother to. This camp place was for some of the workers and their family. Anyway, there were two guys there that i liked and we pretty much just did what three ten year old kids did. We played and we made the camp experience fun. We stayed in a marae, everybody, and one day while i was getting changed to go to bed my brother had gone to talk to both the guys i like. I walk into the marae fully ready to just sleep like any of the other nights but i was shocked when, as soon as i walked into the room, one of the guys came up and told me my brother had told him how i feel (yes, i told my brother). I was not prepared for that and pulled my brother out of the room to give him a good sisterly beating (of course) but then he gave me the best news. The guy i like.. liked me back! How amazing. So, like the embarrassed girl i was, i went back inside the room to confront this guy. He was a player.. even at ten. He asked me out. I said yes. Happy ending.. up until i told him that we couldn't come out in public (yeah, i said that at ten, maybe i was eleven. i was smart, okay?) because my dad would have killed the both of us if he ever found out. Needless to say, the relationship did not work out. Tis but a distant memory. We went to the same school but as soon as we got back from (camp?) we ignored each other. We got pretty close again when i was thirteen, my friends used to joke that we might be going out behind their backs. It's funny because we never officially broke up but we were ten we hadn't even hit puberty by then.

My friend was kicked off her laptop somewhere in australia. So, instead of talking to her I'm blogging. My laptop is running out of battery. Better make this quick.

Random Question (thanks teenar!)
*(harry potter question) What would your boggart turn into?
- I wouldn't really know. It could turn into my friends and family dead. It could be me in a state of insanity, and disgusting nature that I couldn't even be called a person anymore. There are so many things that, depending on how i was feeling that day about myself and my friends, would make the boggart change into anything. I have so many fears, some known, some not.

                   dedicated to jessica, because she got kicked off the laptop and sent to bed.

chats, earthquakes and helping a friend with her paper round.

My brother re-connected the Nintendo 64 and is playing Zelda. I wish I could play it, but I've tried before and basically gave it back to my brother after nearly five minutes. I don't mean to fail so bad, blame it on my gender.

We have people over and my anti-social self is blogging. It's okay though, they don't seem to mind. Well, they aren't paying me attention in any case. I'm watching food t.v as well, with no sound. The food looks good and chocolate-y though. Yum. Ooooh, ice cream, good.

The visitors have left and my brother is going to put Date Night on now. God, we're so cool. I watched this with two of my friends and my brother at the movies in Invercargill. There was a girl behind me kicking my seat so I just kinda laid my head on my friend's (he was a guy, don't judge me) shoulder so that I didn't have to lean forward or still feel the kicking. He was warm, made the movie funnier, I could feel him laughing. There was a sexy robot dance, I wish I'd learnt it but I have the movie here now so I'm going to memorize it.... except I have no partner to do it with.

Anyway, I'm eating chips and dip and talking to my best aussie friend about her great body. She said she'd make me a bed when I go to aus.  I like her bum.

Random Question
*How would you describe yourself?
 - I would say that I'm passionate. I can get very obsessive about things but now-a-days I'm more laid back. I'm a reader. I love with all my heart and hold a grudge for a long time. Actually, that's not really true. I don't forgive easily, I just don't. I trust my brother with anything. I'm being serious. I call him a dick and say that I don't like him but I know that I can trust him with anything and everything. There's nothing much more to me. I'm pretty lame and I love my friends and family.

                               zip your vagina.

sarcasm, idiots, friendship. is this really what we're living for?

Hello, didn't see you there.

I have a cup of fizzy beside me, my cellphone, my candle, the remote for the heat pump and a plate. These are the amazing things I have beside me every time I'm on the laptop. It's just routine. I don't like getting out of my routine and I know most of these things I will use.

I have a flower and ribbon in my hair. Don't judge me. I feel pretty. I play guitar... badly.  I like my brother's gameboy. He has a DS as well, but a gameboy feels much more prodigious. I can't play game console games. I fail so bad, but I still try and I like playing pokemon, they have cute little creatures. I like learning new words, big words usually. If I think you're an idiot, I will tell you.. usually. Sometimes I'm too lazy to do that.

I want to write a story, maybe a story like David Eddings. I like his books, you know; "You see how easily the young are corrupted? Just give them the faintest hint of a wholesome upbringing and they're lost forever." - Silk Kheldar. Silk is a character in a David Eddings story. Silk is pretty much a spy/thief/hero of the story, he's not the main character though but that's okay, Garion is cool too, I guess. Silk is sarcastic. He makes me smile when I read the books. It's a book full of religion, heroism, old language and strategy. I love the old gentleman language that is used to insult; "My lord, I find thy face apelike and your form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offense against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possible that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?" - Mandorallen. I love that, it's so well spoken. I wish we could speak like that now. I loved those books and now that I've finished them I'm going to start another.

I didn't feel any aftershocks today. That's good. I hung out with my friends and we had an ice cream. I like ice cream, I like ice blocks as well. My day was amazing, who cares though.

Random Question
*Tell me about something you would happily do again and why?
 -I would happily tell the guy I like that I like him. It's not all that "I know now how easy it is to lose people so I'm going to seize the moment" kind of thing. Why shouldn't he know? And I'm still not sure of myself, remember. If it turns out I don't like him, then I'll tell him. I don't see the point in worrying about it too much now that it's been done. I've done it once and sure, I had this spaz after he found out but I'm happy about it now. So, why can't I be happy to tell him again? I'll never regret doing that. Regretting something that's already been done and can't be changed is a waste of your mind.

                            A dictionary is a book that helps you understand words you don't know.

aftershocks and early morning facebooking.

We had two major aftershocks that were 5.4 on the richter scale. First time I had been scared about all this earthquake-y stuff.

At my old school when I was 10 maybe, we had an earthquake hit. It wasn't as bad and I don't remember much of it but I remember being told to hide under the table. I never really understood that. If the roof is going to collapse and fall on my table it'll probably make the table fall in and crush me as well. Either way, OUCH!

You know those fire drills you do at school? Knowing that it was a fire drill made me walk a little slower to get to the field. Oh, and there was no way that if it was a real fire that I would leave my bag still in the building. I would hate myself later if I found out that something in my bag had been burnt. There was this girl in my class who used to cry at every drill. It would annoy the hell out of me but I still gave her a hug and reminded her that there is no fire and that we're just practicing for when there is one.

Anyway, completely terrified about the aftershocks, I haven't slept a lot. I've had three to maybe four hours sleep and am now babbling my way though this. I have this weird tasting raspberry flavoured fizzy beside me. I want chocolate. Will you get me some please?

I hate trying to read something spelt wrong, or in text language. It just puts me off. If you're reading this and you do one of either of them I'm sorry but it's the truth. Peanut Butter, I hate it. It's all gross! Crushed up peanuts and eew. I don't like jelly either. It's all jiggly.

My dad wont let me watch Juno. It's making me sad. I love this movie and I am not allowed to watch it! It's insanity. We're watching Serenity though, I like this movie. It has an odd sense of humour and has a chick kickin' ass. That's badass.

Random Question
*What have you been thinking about lately?
 - I've been thinking of relationships. Why we enter in them and why we get hurt so much when we leave them. It's different for everybody. But, at some time after a relationship has broken there's either hurt, sadness, or anger at someone. We always have some kind of negative feeling about it because of something that was said, or the bad moments that were shared. Why can't we celebrate it? Celebrate being in the relationship, ending it, and the start of a new relationship to come. Celebrate the things that we shared, said, and laughed about, instead of mourning over it. What's there to be sad about? We had our try at finding the one person who could possibly live with us and care for us in sickness and in health (see what I did there?) and that didn't work out so now we have to go back and find that person. We're playing a game, and all the twists and turns are the relationships that haven't worked out. In the end, if you're good at the game, you win and find that person.

                                          this is one doodle that can't be undid homeskillett.

gingers and cooked fruit. it's against nature.

I've had a really long conversation with a friend on cooked fruit. She likes it and I don't. But, she's ginger. I love her hair, it's beautiful. But cooked fruit is so unnatural.

I remember as a little kid that my mum would make us kids ribena. I loved it. But, when I once watched her make the stuff with fresh blackberries, I swear I was going to hurl. It's okay though, it takes good.

I don't like a lot of things. Seafood, uneven numbers, swimming, brown, making simple things complicated. So many more things as well. I never understood why I don't like seafood, everyone in my family does. Crayfish scare me.

I like counting my steps. I count up to four and then start again and when I get close to where I'm walking and my steps aren't going to four, I make my steps smaller. When I sit down, I shake. Some part of my body has to be moving when I sit down, usually it's my legs, or I sway from side to side. It irritates some people but I have some weird problem. Get over it. I'm sarcastic, about everything. I can't help it but turn everything into a joke. Oh, and I have a rude mind. Oh, it's just great.

I remember talking to an old friend of mine and it was about something so un-sexual that it would make even a horny teenage boy.. not so horny, but i managed to change it to something rude. It just came to my head. I wasn't going to say it but what can I say? Word vomit sucks.

Random Question
*What was the last thing you ate?
-Honey on toast.
*Why?
-because I love it and it makes me feel great.

                           do you like my sexy hair?

are we in love or is it just made up in our minds?

I'm sure we've all got friends who likes someone or maybe even two people. I'm sure we've all liked someone as well. At least, we've thought we like someone.

When I was five I got into trouble because this guy in my class and I were under the table with cushions around it so nobody could see in and we couldn't see out. This was during interval. The kids in our class went and told teachers we were under the table kissing. See, we got in trouble for doing something we weren't. We were actually under the table writing. He had given me this writing book, kinda thing, where you write over the letters so that you learn to.. you know.. write the letters of the alphabet properly. In some kind of sense we probably did like each other and our kind of romance was writing the alphabet. We were so young and the idea of liking someone was just odd. All we had were friends. I like that.

It's gotten so much more difficult now. I haven't liked someone my whole life, up until this year. It sucks because it just came at me full force. I think I like two people now. See, I think. I'm not sure if it's actually 'liking'. I could just be over-thinking myself. I know that I get this huge thumping in my heart when I see or talk to them both. Maybe it's just some kind of heart burn or something at the wrong time. I know that my mouth itches to smile when they're near or we're talking. Maybe I'm thinking of something really funny. All these things I'm feeling makes me feel more unsure of myself.

People have so many ideas of why they like or love someone. But, how do we know what we're feeling is true? I know that I love my friends, I know that I love my family. But when it comes to the two guys that I might or might not like? I'm absolutely clueless!

Random Question
*What is faith?
 - Faith? Probably the hardest thing in the world for me to answer. Faith is something that helps us go on, just like hope. I have faith in my friends. What I mean by that is I have faith that my friends will be exactly that, my friends. I have faith that they wont do anything to hurt me. I also hope that they wont do that. Faith is believing in something that you don't know can be true. That's my idea.

                           i like tacos.

tell me if i'm going too fast for you, and i'll go faster.

I've started to write a lot. Is that normal? Who cares. I wasn't normal in the beginning. I write stories as well, but I don't want to write just that. So, I remade my blogger because a friend of mine has one as well and I figured this was a great idea.

It's really warm. I went out for a bit today. Saw this guy. Kinda awkward but who cares. I still got to see him.

When I was eight I played pokemon with my friends. We had all these pokemon cards, we'd play paper, scissors, rock and whoever won got the card we were playing with. I failed at paper, scissors, rock but i had really strong cards. They were the basic ones, you know, Charizard, Pikachu(my favourite then and still is now) , and just the pokemon that I grew up with. The new telly program is okay but I still prefer the one I grew up with. Anyway, I lost just about all my good cards and then learnt pretty quickly that I should stop because I fail so bad. When I was eight everything was awesome.

random question (stole this)
*What do you believe in?
 - Took me awhile to finally figure it out and get my head straight but now I know. I believe in love because when all else fails everything we do and don't do is from an idea on what or who we love. I love the colour green and I have since I watched Harry Potter because I love the Harry Potter series and because of the Harry Potter series it gave me something to talk about to this girl I'd met, who is now one of my closest friends. So, my love for something so small gave me someone so amazing. I believe in moments. The smallest moment can affect your life. I have this friend who wears a ribbon around her wrist and everyday at school I'd go through the routine of re-tying it to her wrist. I was gone from school for a whole week and realized how much I miss doing such a small thing. It's not because I like tying things but because it was something that was just between us and she's one of my closest friends. The little things are something that make me who I am and those things are what helped me to get to where I am today. So, in the shortest answer possible. I believe in love and moments.

Ponder this.
 - - - -Why is a raven like a writing desk?